Jabberjaw

    Really Fay? Really?

    Tuesday, August 19, 2008, 01:05 PM EST [General]

    It better freaking rain! Fay is such a tease! Hurricanes are just marketing ploys put together by bottled water, battery and wood companies. Guys say that about Valentine's Day and Hallmark, so I can say that about natural disasters and wood.

    I took some pictures of the beast known as Fay from my car on the way home from the show. Apparently the weather portrayed in the following pictures is bad enough for school to be cancelled. I remember going to school in Wisconsin when it was -20ºF!

    Moving on...

    Since the Pig Pen has a new video player, I decided to upload the gem of a video that's been sitting in my phone for weeks. Fester doing the electric slide at Wazoo! Enjoy, people! 

     

     

     I also have a picture of Jim Gaffigan and me from Saturday night!

    If you don't know anything about his comedy, GOOGLE HIM NOW! He's the best! Ew to my frizzy hair.

    Is anyone sick of the Olympics? I'm not! I would love to just be able to do gymnastics for one day of my life! I can't even do a cartwheel! I have a goal and that's to do a triathalon. I'm DETERMINED to do one. I don't know when though...

    The best part of the Olympics are seeing all the different athletes and the things they can do. (Okay, the other best part is seeing the track stars fall over the hurdles.) Saturday there were two names that stuck out during the trampoline finals. By the way, when did trampolines become an Olympic sport? Pretty much every kid could compete in the trampoline event. ANYWAY, Karen Cockburn of Canada and Dong Dong of China need to get married. Why? So Karen's name can be Karen Cockburn-Dong.

    It just started raining!

    Jab 

    0 (0 Ratings)

    Hot Pocket!

    Sunday, August 17, 2008, 07:37 PM EST [General]

    This weekend FLEW by!! How is it already Sunday night?!

    I feel like hell. It's a mixture between being so tired you could fall asleep standing up, and feeling like you have the flu. Gross.

    This weekend was pretty good. Friday after the morning show I came home and took a mini-nap. I had the worst migriane ever. I had a massage appointment at 1PM, so I had that to look forward to. I learned an important lesson this weekend. If you're making an appointment for a massage and the receptionist is doing everything in her power to convince you not to schedule with a certain massage therapist, take her advice! I'm an idiot and was like, "I can pretty much only do 1PM." About ten minutes into my massage, I noticed something weird. At first I thought the lady conducting said massage had to sneeze, and was just holding them in, until the "silent sneezes" got MUCH spazzier. Turns out the lady had tourettes! Do you know how uncomfortable of a situation that is?!?! Everyone thinks tourettes is hilarious (except for people with tourettes)!! I was okay at first because my face was in that little massage pillow hole thing. Then, I had to turn over. I prayed to every god in the world that I didn't crack up during one of her ticks! On top of the lady spazzing out, she gave me the worst massage ever! For some reason she basically made my arms and back so sore that it feels like I have severe sunburn. I'm pretty sure she stabbed me at least once during that hour-long session. That's not all...she used so much of the massage oil crap that I could barely drive home! My hands, arms, legs, face, etc were COVERED in this gunk! It was nasty! I tipped her 20% though. I'm a pushover.

    Friday night I stayed home. I decided I didn't need to go out after a 4-day-long marathon migraine. I watched Michael Phelps win by 1/100 of a second!

    Saturday night I saw Jim Gaffigan (my favorite stand-up comedian) at Ruth Eckerd Hall with Ashley. He was HILARIOUS! We met him afterward, and then we went to Ashley and Krystal's house. My sister Michele texted me to let me know Phelps was about to race and at that exact moment Ashley's TV went bonkers! It wouldn't work! I was like, "Do you have another TV In the house?!?!" She said, "No! This is it!!" I have six TVs in my house, and that's still not enough. If my living room could look like Best Buy, I'd be a happy camper. We were in luck though. My sister mistook the female swimmers for the male swimmers, so I had time to make it home and see Phelps win his 8th Gold Medal of this Olympics. I feel so lazy!

    Today I basically did nothing. I wanted to go swimming, but it was cloudy and rainy all weekend!

    Jab

    0 (0 Ratings)

    He's so hot...and a pig!

    Wednesday, August 13, 2008, 06:12 PM EST [General]

    This morning before the show I was reading over the New York Post (what every 22-year-old dreams of doing at 5:15AM on a Wednesday jk!) and I saw an article about what Michael Phelps, the Olympic swimmer, has to eat to sustain his energy!

    This is why I want to become an Olympic swimmer. The guy eats 12,000 calories a day! That's almost as much as Fester! Here's a day of Michael Phelps' meals...

    Breakfast: "Phelps lends a new spin to the phrase "Breakfast of Champions" by starting off his day by eating three fried-egg sandwiches loaded with cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, fried onions and mayonnaise."

    Lunch: "At lunch, Phelps gobbles up a pound of enriched pasta and two large ham and cheese sandwiches slathered with mayo on white bread - capping off the meal by chugging about 1,000 calories worth of energy drinks."

    Dinner: "For dinner, Phelps really loads up on the carbs - what he needs to give him plenty of energy for his five-hours-a-day, six-days-a-week regimen - with a pound of pasta and an entire pizza."

    PURR!!! He's so freaking hot!

    If you want to read the whole article on the sexiest man alive Olympian from the New York Post, click here.

    I went running this afternoon! The Olympics make me feel obese and lazy! I started to get heat stroke because I wore black pants and a t-shirt. I had water and my iPod, but I didn't feel like holding both. I put the water bottle on my mailbox and everytime I'd pass my house, I'd drink some water. Not a good idea. Not at all! My parents got home as I was finishing and my mom was like, "Don't wear black pants!! Your lips are white!!" Not good times!

    Alright, I'm off to shower and look at more pictures of Phelps.

    Jab

    4 (1 Ratings)

    She's not fooling me...

    Monday, August 11, 2008, 09:05 PM EST [General]

    We all know she's still crazy! Here are two promos starring Britney Spears for the MTV Video Music Awards hosted by Russell Brand!

     

     

     

     

    I remember watching that loon last year performing in that sparkly bra, cheap boots and bad weave. Those were the good old days!

    2 (1 Ratings)

    It begins!

    Monday, August 11, 2008, 08:53 PM EST [General]

    For the first time in in my life, or at least as long as I can remember, someone other than Brett Favre has started a Packer game. As weird as it feels, I'm totally behind Aaron and I will TRY and get over Favre not being in Green Bay. I saw a shirt that says "Got Brett?" at the mall this weekend. It was a Jets shirt. That was too soon. WAAAY too soon. I'm now a Rogers' girl. He's frickin' hot too!!

    There's nothing better than football season. I love it!

    This is going to be one crazy week! I literally have not had one minute of down time today. I start classes on the 21st. GROSS!! I'm not looking forward to 13 hour days Monday thru Thursday.

    Okay, shower time!

    Jab

    0 (0 Ratings)

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