My first born is a happy girl. She has her problems though. At 8 years old she has already been diagnosed as hearing impaired, developmentally delayed, mild cerebral palsy, and has physical development problems.
When I was pregnant with her I was so excited to be expecting a healthy baby girl. But when my bundle of joy turned 2 and still lacked to say the most common first words of Mama and Dada I knew something was wrong. I knew that my simple life was about to turn into a stress filled mess. We ran from Doctor to Doctor, from appointment to appointment. I have learned in these past 6 years though that she is still a perfect child, but she will just have some problems we will learn to overcome.
Her Cerebral Palsy although mild is there none the less. Thankfully she will never become as handicapped as her CP peers. She should never become wheelchair bound or need daily help dressing or eating. She shouldn't have to ever rely on others to help her move from place to place, for all this I am thankful. Because of this illness she does however have extremely low muscle tone in her upper back, arms and legs. But as of now I consider this the least of my cuties problems.
My little girl has development difficulties that we are slowly working on. We realize that she may never graduate high school with a standard diploma. You may be shocked to hear that is okay with me, as long as she always does her best and never gives up. She has been told over and over again I won't ever give up on her, providing she never gives up on herself. Quitting is just not an option. She may find difficulty adding a simple math question such as 4+3, but she is smart enough to know that her Mommy loves her.
The biggest obstacle to get control of has been her hearing impairment. With moderate to severe loss in one ear and mild to moderate loss in the other it has caused her to fall behind in all aspects of life. It has caused her much emotional heartache and cupfuls of tears. It has had her frustrations through the roof. Not being able to be understood when she talks. Not being able to hear a movie on TV without it being loud enough to be heard outside, she has been at a low point lower then most adults I know. It has not only caused her turmoil, but me and family as well. Doing homework with her takes all night while her sister takes 30 minutes to finish. To help her count to 20, but when she gets to 10 she restarts at 1. As frustrating as it becomes all I can do is sit there and keep at it.
It has come to my attention that while others are out with my daughter they get embarrassed. While out in public with my sweetie I hear the innocent comments from the 4 year old behind us in line at checkout. They ask Mommy or Daddy why she doesn't talk right. And as the parent tries to shush their child I will usually get down on 1 knee to the childs level and tell them gently that she can't hear very well, but she's learning. I as a parent of three myself can understand a child's naive ignorance; they haven't been exposed to the Deaf culture. What I can not handle, and have been known to sometimes lose my cool is when an adult has the audacity to be rude toward her. Occasionally they will make a comment that is uncalled for, but usually will just stick to their looks of disgust and rolling of eyes. Many have been known to whisper in their friend's ear. All they see is that she is 8 years old and not talking correctly, jibber jabbering like a 2 year old. I guess they are just too blind to notice the large hearing aids placed behind her ears. Or it could just be that they were never taught that it is okay to be different. I can only just try to ignore them. Some are worth trying to educate.
My daughter started public school when she was three. Entered into a pre-k special education classroom, we hoped it would give her the extra boost she needed. She has been attending Speech Therapy twice a week for the past 4 years. It has produced slow results but in the end I pray that she will one day function in life as an independent adult. So she attends her Physical Therapy to learn to jump, hop and skip. She takes her Occupational Therapy to become efficient in cutting, writing and tying her shoes. She goes to Speech to learn correct sound pronunciation. She wears her glasses to help her see the chalkboard at school, to help correct her lazy eye and improve her vision. On a daily basis she has those bulky hearing aids behind her ears to help her hear the world around her. And she still has the belly button hernia that we were told would go away by the time she was 7.
Over all my little girl is growing up. I beg everyone to one day grow up yourselves and see not every child or adult may be flawless, but in their mothers eyes they always will be.
I love you Jessica
